Today went horrible. It all started off with me being a little nervous about getting to the airport. I don’t mind actually being in the plane in the air, but I do hate trying to figure out where I am going once inside the airport. Also, I don’t fly very often. Once I screw something up and then figure out what I was supposed to do, I don’t fly soon enough to remember it.

Not only have I not flown in a couple years, I have never been to the Pittsburgh airport before. The nice thing is it is less than 10 minutes away. After talking to a friend and my brother, both of which fly often, I decide I am going to park at the airport in the extended lot.

That really wasn’t my first choice. I was thinking if I took an Uber there, I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to find where to go. I would just get dropped off and then picked up. I wasn’t too sure I could a ride back, and then I would be stuck at the airport.

Based on the Uber calculator, it would be 4 times more expensive to take an Uber than it would be to just park. Parking would also guarantee I have a ride home. Now I have to worry about getting to the airport, finding a parking spot, and then making my way inside.

To help with this, I am going to leave an extra hour early, getting me to the airport 3 hours before my flight instead of the recommended 2. After I pull into the extended lot, I figure I will just drive to the back to find a spot instead of weaving up and down each row to find the one empty spot.

This gets a little weird when I have to make a couple of turns. I really couldn’t figure out how the parking lot was laid out, but I do see a sign for the row I am in, and I see someone behind me getting out of their car.

I right down the row number and then follow the guy. The plan is pretty simple, he probably knows where he’s going, so just go where he goes. He is a little ahead of me and stops the shuttle bus. The bus also waits for me.

The good news is I am probably going to the airport now, but the bad news is, I don’t know how to get back on the bus to get back to my car. So now I know this whole ordeal won’t be over until I am back in my car.

The shuttle bus gets back on the road and drives up to the terminal like I took an Uber and they were dropping me off. I was secretly hoping there was a special shuttle bus drop off spot that would make it easier to find where to get back on when I come back.

I get inside and then try to figure out where to go. I get in line for security (finding the right line is one part of the airport I don’t really like). Then I have to find the gate. Now, because I am so close to the airport, and I caught the shuttle bus, I am actually pretty early giving me plenty of time to find the gate.

The stupid gate is A2, and there only seems to be even numbers. It was the first gate I came to. Now, I have about two and a half hours to kill. I sent out a few text messages making some lame jokes about flying, and I get a text back…it’s the airline saying my flight is delayed.

At this point, I don’t really care. I figure the less time I have to spend with them the less time there is to ask me hard questions. However, the flight just kept being delayed by 30 minutes. Finally when we get on the plane, it gets delayed again. Some people start to get off and grabbed their carry on bags, when we were told we were going to make a run for it, and to sit back down.

After everyone put their bags back in the overhead compartment, we were told the delay is definitely happening again, and this time everyone has to get off the plane. Getting off isn’t as simple as it sounds since most people still try to grab their carry on bags, and then we have to scan our boarding passes on the way off.

The line is moving so slow. My phone is dying, and I only see one outlet near the gate. Of the two plugs, only the top one works. Now, everyone is crowding around it trying to use the only working plug available.

After 6 hours, I get on the plane. Now, there is a bigger issue. While everyone else was worried about missing a connecting flight, I just have to go to Chicago and back, but now my time in Chicago is really cut short. I have to get to the airport, and then call the limo place to come get me. The drive to the office is about 30 minutes. Plus, I need to drive back to the airport and have 2 hours before the flight.

That gives me like 0 minutes to stay at the office. When I land, I call the person who arranged for everything, and she said there’s another flight that leaves Chicago later. It’s at 9:15pm and it would put me back in Pittsburgh at 11:45pm, essentially wasting the entire day.

The original flights left at 10:00am and came back at 8:00pm. Now, I have to call the limo place to tell them to come get me, and then change my returning flight. I very rarely fly, and I have never changed a flight, so I have no idea what to do.

I try to find a little kiosk with someone there to ask if I can change my flight or at least instructions on how to do it, if I am not in the right place. I find one that only has two people in line, and it takes forever to get up to the front. Once I do, the lady isn’t too helpful and after explaining that the delay of the flight coming in doesn’t give me enough time here, and I need a later return flight, she asks what I want to do.

I tell here I still want a later return flight and give her the number of the flight I want. She says she can only confirm me for the one that leaves at 9:15pm…the one with the number I gave her. I said that would be fine, and she printed me off a boarding pass. The pass did not have the gate on it.

I then make my way outside, and then forget what I am looking for to find the driver who is out there to get me. I have to call the limo place back and ask them again. I find the guy who is driving a minivan. He wasn’t the best driver, but we eventually get there.

Once there, it’s already 4:00pm, the time I would have originally left the office to head back to the airport. It seems like the people I was going to talk to only came in today to talk to me. By now, they want to go home. There is also some kind of meeting going on in the conference room, so it’s taken. I am in someone’s office.

That office is right inside the reception area. I don’t even get a tour of the office building, I just go straight into this little office and wait. The first guy comes in and he’s the guy I did the first call with. Then the second person comes in, she’s the one I did the second call with. Finally, the third guy comes in, and he’s the guy a did the call with last week.

They all said the same thing, “I don’t know what to ask you, we covered everything on the phone.” It was an entirely pointless trip out there. The only thing we talked about was the delay getting there. Finally, I was going to go back to the airport…it was 5:30pm.

That’s a solid 3 hours before the flight even starts boarding. By now, I figure out that they all want to leave at 5:30pm, but they can’t just leave me alone. They are likely getting me back to the airport now so they can leave.

I was told there would be lunch, but I missed that. They did say I could get dinner at the airport and then they would reimburse me for it since I didn’t get to eat all day. I walk outside with the person who arranged everything and we waited for the car. I told her I had to call to get the license plate before, and asked if I should do that again.

She said no. I can’t figure out how she’s going to know what car is here to get me, when she says my ride is here. It’s a real limo. I told her about the minivan that picked me up, and she asked 4 times if I was joking. It was supposed to be a limo then, as well.

I get in and we head back. The driver wanted to talk, which was a little awkward given how far back I am sitting. It is 5:30pm in Chicago, so traffic is horrible. We make our way to the airport, and I go inside. The security line is all the way out of the little zigzag ropes and is zigzagging without any ropes. It’s basically twice as long as it was designed to be.

On my original return ticket, it did say that there was a security checkpoint that was closed, so arrive early to make up for the longer lines. No one else seemed to get that message since everyone wanted to cut in front of everyone else because their flight was boarding or leaving. Finally, I got close enough to the front where everyone else was going to miss their flights so nobody was cutting anymore.

I, however, still had time to catch my flight. While standing in the security line, I was a little nervous when I saw a sign that said gates A, B, and C enter security with an arrow pointing to another line. I am thinking I could have waiting all this time just to be in the wrong line, so I pull out my ticket and realize the gate is blank.

Now, I am not going to leave, but I will try to Google my gate. If I can’t figure it out, and I am told I am in the wrong line, I will ask what gate it is. I find that it is gate C. However, I see that the zigzag has the row next to us facing the same direction. That violates the spirit of the zigzag, and I can’t tell where the line goes.

I get up a little farther and see that that line and my line merge. Even if I went to the other security line, I would end up in the same place. Now, I don’t care about going to the wrong line, but I do start caring that I am not as close to the front anymore since that lines needs to merge with mine.

I get to the security checkpoint, with my shoes and belt already off, and I just chuck everything in a bin. While one guy is in the tube thing with his hands over his head, the guy in front of me and I get waved through a metal detector and don’t even bother going through that thing.

I grab everything out of the bin and go to the nearest gate to sit down and put everything back in my pockets. Then I tie my shoes and put my belt on. While doing that, I look around for the gate, and only see B gates. Then I see a sign for C, and it looks like it’s not that close.

I have to get on one of those moving walkway things to get to the C gates. Then I have to walk almost to the back to get my gate. At this time, I find a rows of outlets and keep walking until I find one available. My phone is almost completely dead, and the two back up batter sticks have also been used. I wasn’t planning on being at the first airport for 6 hours.

I plug my phone in, and let it charge. Now, I have less than an hour before I board. I then get a text message saying the gate changed, but it’s only up a couple from where I am. I stay there until I am fully charged, walk up to the new gate, and then we start boarding.

What seemed like another 3 hours at the airport until boarding turned out to be perfect timing. Any later and I could have missed the flight. There were no delays with this one. I was in the second to last row, though, so it took while before I actually got to board.

We flew back by midnight, and the Pittsburgh airport was basically closed. Now, I had to find my car. I followed everyone else who got off the plane. At that point, they were the only people in the airport, but they were going to the baggage claim. I need to go to parking. I saw the sign that had parking going to the right and baggage going to the left, so I walked away from the group.

Now, I am in the front and anyone else going to parking is behind me. I have no idea where I am going, though and am just reading signs. I also now this was not the way I came in. I keep walking all the way to the end and then walk outside. I see some row markers and walk to the one that is close to mine…it has the same number.

Now I need to find G, but I am at A. I walk all the way to the end of the row…it’s E. This is what I suspected. The weird turns I took during parking put me somewhere else that’s not this lot. I then see a little crosswalk that takes me to another lot on the other side of the driveway.

I walk over there and start walking down the row when the row marker gets even further away than what I need. Now, instead of walking down the row, I have to walk through each row. It basically makes an L shaped. There were a few empty spots in the perfect position to be able to see my car from several rows back.

I then get in, and try to find the exit. The exit signs have several arrows on it pointing in different directions making it confusing. I then find the little booths that have two marked as open, and two marked as credit card. I can’t tell what I need, but I figured there was no one else around. I would go to credit card first, mainly because I want to pay with a credit card, and then if that didn’t work, I would back up and go to the open one.

It worked out just fine. I though I might get charged for 2 days since it’s after midnight at this point, but I didn’t. I got a lame little receipt, and then the gate opened. It was a 6 minute drive home.

It was a huge adventure for a meeting that was pointless and not at all needed.